When others or self makes too many decisions in the lives of others, the person who is on the end OF others making decisions for them – it sets them up to feel degraded and incompetent. It causes the “spoiled child” syndrome. Spoiled children as adults suffer from seeking the same answers repetitively without embracing victory. This is because the SC (Spoiled Child) has locked into an identity of others making decisions for them, so they continue to live without authentic forgiveness or long-term change.
Spoiled adults find long-term forgiveness to be difficult and impossible. Unforgiveness can profoundly affect our lives, especially within the context of our experiential faith in Christ vs. doing or saying the right actions/words to prove our self-righteousness. Spoiled adults HATE being viewed as incompetent. Since the SC was pressured to be perfect as a child, as an adult, they develop “pretty flesh.” Here are some of the dangers associated with not choosing Christ’s indwelling forgiveness as a permanent measure:
Spiritual Turmoil: When we harbor long-term covert unforgiveness, it hinders our spiritual resolute. In this, the individual spends most of their lives attempting to find solutions versus living the victorious Christian life. Identity shifts from Christ to the ideation of compulsively searching for what they already know. This is why they/we covertly remain in unforgiveness – it keeps the spoiled child syndrome alive; it’s all about me. It becomes difficult for these “victims” to maintain a vibrant prayer life and engage in authentic worship due to the worship of self. Unforgiveness and the spoiled child syndrome often become blended as one identity, preventing the self-induced suffering Saint from experiencing His fullness and grace.
Stifled Witness: Our ability to be effective witnesses for Christ is compromised when we hold onto extended bitterness. Forgiveness means relinquishing the desire for revenge or retaliation on self and others, even when we habitually keep it alive for identity’s sake. A heart filled with resentment dampens our testimony and undermines our ability to share God’s love with others. This creates a false sense of guilt, which throws the individual back into their horrid displaced identity cycle.
Physical Toll: Unforgiveness doesn’t just affect our minds; it can take a toll on our bodies. The stress caused by covert or overt bitterness triggers tension, anxiety, and chemical imbalances in the brain. Over time, this chronic stress weakens our physical health.
Broken Relationships: Unforgiveness can seep into various aspects of our lives. For example, resentment toward a family member can discolor our relationships with others, impact our work performance, and affect our involvement in selfless Body Life Fellowship.
God’s Forgiveness: Jesus emphasized the importance of forgiving others by releasing Him as the forgiver through the authentic, indwelt Christian. He taught that if we don’t forgive others, we will struggle with our heavenly Father forgiving us. Our ongoing relationship with God is hindered when we withhold His indwelling forgiveness from others. When offenders look at a believer, they should see justification in action – just as if they never sinned against you.
Forgiveness in Christ is an indwelling transformative force. It heals wounds, restores broken relationships, and sets captives free. When we forgive, we release the burden of bitterness and allow God’s grace to flow through us. Through Christ’s sacrifice, we learn that forgiveness is not weakness but strength—a choice that leads to redemption and abundant life in and through Jesus.
Listen to my full message on extending forgiveness HERE. [33 min.]
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