Listen to the podcast version:
In a global culture that often glorifies strength and perfection, authentic believers may find it daunting to publicly share their vulnerabilities and pain. The fear of judgment, misunderstanding, or rejection can loom large, causing many to hide their struggles behind a façade of stability. You know - fake it until you make it.
Yet, true healing and connection are found within these very moments of openness and honesty. When believers courageously share their authentic selves, they not only break the chains of isolation but also inspire others to do the same, building a spiritual community grounded in empathy and mutual support.
Embracing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a profound testament to the strength that comes from trusting in God's unwavering grace and love.
It's indeed true that both writers and readers often shy away from revealing their interpersonal weaknesses. Surveys and studies consistently show that the fear of vulnerability, judgment, and rejection leads many to mask their true selves by putting their best foot forward. This tendency to avoid exposure to one's weaknesses stems from societal pressures to appear strong and in control, coupled with the personal discomfort of facing one's own imperfections.
Authentic indwelt believers reveal their weaknesses!
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV): "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Are you content with your weaknesses?
The very act of sharing vulnerabilities can enact deeper connections and authentic understanding. When writers dare to expose their struggles, they create works that resonate profoundly with readers, offering solace and a shared connectivity. Similarly, readers who engage with such honest content may feel empowered to acknowledge and express their own vulnerabilities.
My secret? I brag about my weaknesses!
Embracing and bragging about our weaknesses is not an easy task, but it is through this brave transparency that true growth, healing, and ministry are built.
I WAS TRAINED TO LIE
Growing up, I learned to mask my insecurities through deceit, creating an illusion of confidence to hide my true vulnerabilities. Whether it was through small white lies or more elaborate fabrications, each act was a way to shield me from judgment and protect my fragile self-degrading esteem.
This behavior became a defense mechanism, ingrained over time, as I feared that revealing my authentic self would lead to rejection or ridicule—and it did! By covering up my insecurities, I hoped to gain acceptance, but in reality, it distanced me from every person in my little world. This pattern of dishonesty ultimately perpetuated a cycle of isolation, preventing me from experiencing the freedom that comes from embracing and acknowledging God’s perfect plan for my life.
The Boy Who Cried Wolf
I was labeled "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" because, over time, I developed a habit of exaggerating or fabricating situations to gain attention or sympathy. This repeated behavior made others lose trust in my words and doubt the authenticity of my experiences. Whenever I genuinely needed help or support, my pleas were met with skepticism and disbelief, as my past actions had eroded their confidence in my spoken word - me. This label became a painful reminder of the consequences of my dishonesty, highlighting the importance of integrity and the lasting impact my actions have had on my relationships throughout my life.
Throughout my life, I found myself navigating relationships without a roadmap. Nobody trained me on how to build normal, natural, and neutral relationships. This lack of guidance left me feeling uncertain and often “trying out” things I saw on television. As you would guess, that didn’t work out so well.
In the theater of life, I found myself cast in roles I never auditioned for. Navigating real-life situations, I became an actor, not by choice but necessity. Uncertain of how to connect authentically, I adopted various personas to fit in, masking my insecurities behind a series of facades. Each interaction became a performance, each relationship a stage where I played my part diligently. In this complex dance, I yearned for genuine connections yet struggled to break free from the scripts I had written for myself.
In the playwright of my life, I found myself playing a role written by others. Their expectations, opinions, and judgments became the script I followed, leaving little room for me to discover who I was. As I conformed to these external narratives, I felt a growing sense of inadequacy, as if I could never measure up to the standards set for me. Each decision and each action seemed to be a chapter authored by someone else, and in this process, I lost sight of reality - literally viewed life as a made-up world. The more I tried to fit into the roles assigned to me, the further I drifted from the person I wanted to be.
What was the boy to do?
It was an easy fix. In my quest to regain control over my life, I began to manipulate others by directing the life-script I had dreamt up. I crafted scenarios and guided interactions to fit my narrative, often at the expense of genuine connections. This newfound power gave me a sense of control, but it also distanced me from the authenticity I craved. Each manipulation was a step further from the young man God created me to be, leaving me “feeling” isolated and misunderstood.
In my pre-teen years, my best friend’s mother was a practicing witch. One day, she pulled me aside and told me I had supernatural powers to control the world around me, then asked me if I wanted to see this with my own eyes. Being the manipulator I was, I jumped in with both feet. While I will not elaborate on what I saw and did, I will tell you this opened the door to several years of sorcery - learning how to control the life-script of others through the darker side of spiritualism. I actively practiced these evil deeds until the Lord leveled the playing field on the day of my salvation - at 16 years of age.
Folks, the devil wanted my soul. He knew I was a perfect candidate for living a supernaturally empowered life, and he knew exactly what he was doing.
It took several years to finally release my grip on sorcery, a journey fraught with inner turmoil and relentless struggle. The dark allure held me captive, weaving illusions of power and control that were hard to break. However, through time, perseverance, prayers of deliverance, and an unwavering search for truth, God’s power and grace intervened. It was through the life and teachings of Yeshua that I found the strength to let go. His love and sacrifice illuminated my walk, providing a way out of the darkness and into a life of genuine freedom, peace, and identity in Him.
DISCERNMENT OF DARKNESS
To this day, I can pick up on oppression in and around others instantly. Because God allowed me to be exposed to the darker side of life and thus delivering me, I see deception quickly. God's light pierced through my once-dark world, lifting me from the depths of despair. As a result, early on in my Christian life, He gave me the precious gift of discernment, enabling me to recognize and confront oppression in all its forms instantly. This divine gift and insight have empowered me to navigate life with clarity and purpose, identifying the shadows that seek to hinder me and standing firm in the truth and freedom He has granted me.
This gift, as in the case of many prophets in the Bible, comes with a price. As people write or talk, I instantly discern all lies, written or spoken. At times, it “drives me crazy.” When I speak into their lives, addressing the falsehood and speaking forth the Truth, guess what? Rejection ensues, covert hatred abounds, and typically, the relationship is strained - taking me back to my childhood fears. The Devil is clever, but I know he remains stupid.
Your childhood is the roadmap to your ministry as a believer.
No matter what tragic events occurred in your childhood, trust that God uses all experiences for His good and the good of the ministry He has called you to.
Every hardship, every challenge, has been stitched into the tapestry of His divine plan, transforming pain into purpose and oppression into spiritual gifting.
Through His power and grace, the wounds of the past become the seeds of wisdom and compassion for the future, equipping you to fulfill your calling and touch the lives of others with His love.
Years ago, while wallowing in my self-pity, God led me to read this passage:
Jeremiah 1:5 (ESV): “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
I don’t know why Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet, but I do know that the Lord used and planned his childhood experiences to prepare him to be one of the greatest prophets of all time. Today, I call Jeremiah my brother from my Hebrew mother.
Reader, I have learned many great things over the years. However, being vulnerable and “going public” with my life experiences is what I do best. I know one thing for certain: all things work together for the good of delivering the Gospel in truth and righteousness—without the fear of vulnerability.
Share this post