My Life: #17 Testimony: From Hippy to Jesus.

It all started when I hit puberty. Sex hormones were running wild. Free sex was the dominant cultural ideology of my generation.

Yes, I was a full-blown flower child. It was the custom of "flower children" to wear and distribute flowers or floral-themed decorations to symbolize ideals of universal belonging, peace, and love. Flower children were also associated with the flower power political movement, which originated with ideas of promoting “peace” instead of war. However, most of us were violent if others rejected our flowers.

My Testimony

It all started when I hit puberty. Sex hormones were running wild. Free sex was the dominant cultural ideology of my generation. Anti-authority was the misnomer hidden behind our acts of debauchery. Drugs clouded our judgment, and marijuana was as common as smoking cigarettes. And “Acid Music” was our choice to assist in “tripping out.”

While I started tempering with cigarettes and alcohol when I was seven, I didn’t embrace these addictions until high school.

Since my soul desperately craved attention, when the opportunity presented itself to join a rock group, I was all in. After most of our gigs, drunken parties typically followed, which included “groupies,” mainly women, who offered a new kind of buzz for our group - sex. The more popular our band became, the more alcohol and immorality ruled my life.

When our band took on a new cutting-edge drummer, we experienced local fame overnight. This particular drummer was cut from the same cloth as me - edgy, a “chip on his shoulder,” and a desire to stay buzzed. One night during a concert, at break time, he offered me a little white pill. Being new to the drug culture, he had to explain to me what “white cross” was - a white crystalline powder used as a central nervous system stimulant. In common terms, “speed.” Since I was up for adding peep to my on-stage performance, down the pill went. The results? An obsession with the drug world.

As you might guess, this opened the door to two addictive depraved acts - “speed” addiction and immorality. Soon, these addictions led me down a dark path, which included a new drug - LSD, acid. Before I knew it, I found myself face to face with the underworld of ‘drugs, sex, and rock’n roll.’ Amid this depraved lifestyle, Jesus decided to get my attention.

POPCORN & JESUS

In the summer of my sixteenth year, I agreed to help my uncle take a break from his popcorn stand downtown Storm Lake, Iowa. It was a week-long commitment. On the third day, while doing my job, a young man knocked on the window. I asked him what he would like to order. To that, he said, Do you know that Jesus loves you? I shut the window in his face. The following day, he returns, knocks on the window, and asks me a second time, Do you know that Jesus loves you? Again, I shut the window in his face. On the third day of his visit, I was expecting him. Sure enough, he arrives. I went out, grabbed him by the collar, pulled him into the booth, and asked him who this Jesus was—his reply. I was sent to tell you that Jesus loves you. He stood up and walked out.

That night, while staying at my aunt’s house, trying to sleep, a dark demonic creature pinned me to my bed, and evil images came at me that chilled me to my bones. Not knowing what to do, I began saying the name “Jesus” repeatedly. To my amazement, the darkness left.

The next morning, I asked my aunt who this Jesus was. She did her best to explain things, but it didn’t help. So…off to the popcorn stand I went. About halfway through my shift, I noticed a Christian bookstore sign directly across the street from the stand. I closed up shop, walked over to the bookstore, stood in the entry, and loudly asked, Is there anyone here who can tell me who Jesus is? The clerk went and got the manager. He gave me a free book on prayer and shuffled me out the door - unfortunately, I didn’t know how to read.

After returning home, I entered the house and asked my mother who Jesus was. She said to ask the preacher in town. So, I did. I knocked on his door and asked him. Not only did he explain who this Jesus was, but he also did a refined job of leading me to salvation.

Shortly after my salvation, I joined a Jesus Coffee Club in town - basically a hangout for converted hippies. While the coffee and fellowship were great, the club had two sections, one for coffee drinkers and the other for pot smokers. Guess which side I picked? Yes, the “stoners.” Unfortunately, this led me back to drugs, sex, and rock’n roll. My life became far worse than before I received Jesus.

Now lost in a world of selling drugs and doing deplorable things, my mother invites me to the movie The Hiding Place, featuring the Corie ten Boom story. Even though my soul was fighting intrusive, dark, oppressive attacks, I went to please my mother. Then, it happened. After the movie, in my apartment, I slipped into a fit of anger. I went to my closet, got my grandpa’s preaching Bible, threw it against the wall, landed on my bed, and opened to a passage in the Bible that pierced my soul to the core. Even though I was functionally illiterate, I could read the passage. It was a supernatural experience. I was delivered that night. I flushed all my drugs down the toilet and never returned to them, nor the lifestyle that came with them.

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the victor’s crown, the life God has promised to those who love Him” (James 1:12).

I cannot tell you how much my soul fought this verse through the years!  First of all, the word “trial” was something I worked throughout my entire life to avoid.  Secondly, I have feared being “tested” since I was old enough to understand exactly what testing meant.  Finally, the “victor’s crown” was a term that described a life that I believed I would never be able to attain here on earth – at least until I discovered what it truly meant to have the indwelling Life of Christ.

Even though I received the indwelling life of Christ at 16 years of age (salvation), I did not understand exactly what that meant to my daily living until many years later.  Since the day of my salvation, I had a heart-hunger for the Word but could not embrace the Spirit of Truth until the Lord took me on a journey that revealed the intimate details of advancing the Life of Christ from within. 

I might have been born again without knowing much of the Word, if any, but I certainly understood that in order to grow, I must be bathed in the Word and the Spirit of Truth.  But how could I do this – for I was functionally illiterate and could not read until my mid-20s.  Little did I realize then this would become one of my greatest blessings in Life.  Since I could not read, my early growth as a believer completely hinged upon the indwelling Life of Christ, being forced to be a student of the Spirit of Life from within.

Early on in my faith, I did not know the difference between a following “Christian” and being an indwelt believer.  I got caught up in the classic thinking that being a Christ follower was my only way to progress in obtaining victory as a Christian. Therefore, I began by attempting to meet God’s standards/laws by following instead of releasing Christ within me to meet those standards.  If someone had only told me that in order to advance spiritually, I had to discover what and who I really was by the indwelling Life of Christ and not by trying to become who the Bible says I am.  Needless to say, that never happened – nor could I reach such a goal, no matter how earnest I was or how hard I strived to become something that I already was.

I can still remember how I felt when I heard for the first time that upon the day of my salvation, my old nature was crucified with Christ and that I was dead to the power of sin, buried with Him, resurrected, and then placed at the right hand of the Father. For me, these were the most freeing truths I had ever heard. 

To every indwelt believer, there should come a time when we can say, “I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me.”  It doesn’t matter what God decides to bring our way; it is imperative that we are brought to the experiential reality of this statement.  My experience is the more rejection suffered, the longer and more difficult it is to embrace such profound truth.  But know this: Christ is always seeking to make Himself known in us, but until we have been detached from all earthly pleasures and are ready to look inward to Him alone, we must still wait for His Indwelling Life to manifest in every thought and deed.  For those of us who do experience a long delay in such a Life, it is critical that we understand that there is no delay on His part. The hard-core Truth - believing that waiting is necessary to discover such freedom is totally due to our own flesh waging war against His Spirit from within. 

I learned early on that going to Him inwardly is not the hard task, but not yielding to the sin that remains in me, that is not me, is the toughest task for all believers.  In fact, it takes Christ in me to master such warring.  Once I learned that it takes my mind to be renewed & yielded to the mind of Christ within me – the task of “not I, but Christ” became as easy as the yoke He carries, which is lite.  It was a stirring reality to know that I typically carry around more burdens than Christ does as being God.  To rest my mind on such truth became the doorway to my freedom.               

Due to my rejection patterns, my flesh continues to fight “resting in Christ.” A challenge only the Holy Spirit can win. I learned early on that salvation is the first step, while releasing the Life of Christ from within is the end means. Breaking free from viewing life through my five senses has been the greatest obstacle in my life as a believer. However, it produced the greatest victory at the same time. When I look at life through the eyes of Christ from within, victory always awaits me.

If you are indwelt but are in need of praying the “Selfer’s Prayer,” click on the image below. Use this PDF to assist others as well.

From Hippy to Jesus! That’s my story. What’s yours?