Substack's Dark Cave
Deep within the bowels of the lonely place only writers know, where light dared not tread, there existed a cave—a forsaken sanctuary for a solitary writer - me.
IN THE BOWELS OF LONELINESS
Deep within the bowels of the lonely place only writers know, where light dared not tread, there existed a cave—a forsaken sanctuary for a solitary writer - me. His name, if it ever mattered, was lost to the damp, whispering walls that appeared to haunt him. Here, in this subterranean refuge, he penned his words, ink flowing like the lifeblood of forgotten memories brought to mind that propagated and multiplied his isolation.
The cave was his cocoon, a shroud against the cacophony of the depraved world above. Its entrance, a jagged maw, swallowed sunlight and spat out obsidian darkness that reinforced his loneliness. The writer was huddled by a sputtering flame that dared to lighten his endeavors, its feeble flame casting elongated shadows on the uneven walls that replicated his feeble past. His quill scratched parchment, etching tales of love, loss, and longing for a deeper relationship with his Savior. Each stroke echoed through the hollow cavern, reverberating like a plea to the void - Am I writing to resistive silence?
He wrote of distant memories, of truths acridly dismissed, of dragons that danced with the culturally deprived. His well-placed words breathed life into the cold stone, their whispered secrets echoing off stalactites. But did anyone listen? Did anyone care?
The writer wondered. He wondered if his words reached beyond the damp walls, if they ascended to the surface like spectral messages from God. Were there readers out there, souls hungry for truth and life? Or was he merely shouting into the abyss, his voice swallowed by the same darkness that enveloped him?
Loneliness clung to him like moss on the cave floor. He yearned for connection—for eyes that would devour his righteous prose, hearts that would ache with his articulate words. But how could he know? The cave kept its secrets well, and the writer was its most intimate confidant -Am I speaking to the cave’s walls?
Sometimes, he would pause, listening for echoes of his own words. Perhaps a distant voice, a rustle of a reader’s convictions, a murmur carried by the wind of a reader under conviction. But all he heard were the drip-drops of water from unseen crevices that reflected his lonely state, a rhythm as ancient as time itself. The cave was indifferent, its silence both companion and adversary.
His manuscripts piled up—a mountain of ink-stained hopes. He wondered if they would outlive him, if they would crumble to dust like the bones of forgotten civilizations. Did it matter? Perhaps immortality lay not in readers’ hearts but in the permanence of words etched into stone - Am I but dust?
And so, the writer persisted. He wrote of God’s unrequited love, of battles fought in moonlit glades of despair, of ghosts who whispered forgotten truth. His quill danced, and the cave absorbed his musings, turning them into shadows. Perhaps, just perhaps, someone would stumble upon this hidden lair, decipher the cryptic runes, and find solace in his tales.
But until then, he remained—a solitary scribe in the heart of shadows. His flame flickered, casting elongated silhouettes on the walls. And as he dipped his quill once more, he wondered if, somewhere out there, a reader existed—a kindred spirit who would unravel the mystery of the existence of truth and breathe life into the lives of a silent world.
For now, though, the cave held its secrets, and the writer wrote on, hoping that somewhere beyond the veil of darkness, someone would snatch up his writings to encourage a listening ear.
The writer in this essay is a fictional creation, a reflection of the countless souls who pour their hearts into words, even when the world seems indifferent. However, this writer is a reflection of my soul on the days when writing seems pointless and lonely. Yes, I have those days. Most of us do.
In the quiet hours, when the world slumbers and the moon casts its silver veil upon my desk, I find solace in ink and paper - OK, my keyboard. Writing becomes my companion—a silent confidante that listens without judgment, understands without interruption.
Loneliness, that spectral visitor, creeps into my office. It wraps itself around my shoulders, a shroud of mist of ‘what’s the point.’ The walls echo with emptiness, and the dim office lights dance as if trying to summon forgotten souls. In this solitude, I turn to my words.
My fingers tremble on my keyboard, its nib seeking refuge on the screen. I write not for an audience but many times for my soul—for the fractured pieces of my heart that ache for connection to God and people. Each stroke on the keyboard etches longing, and the tears frequently fall as I search for solace in my Savior.
But even if no eyes ever grace these pages, I persist. Writing is my lifeline—a lifeline thrown into the hands of my Savior. It tethers me to His purpose and reminds me that loneliness need not be barren. Through stories, teachings, and messages, I touch the hem of eternity. Through inspiration, I find a connection with lost theologians and writers of the past, who understand my plea.
And so, I write, fully hoping that someone out there “feels” the same ache, the same longing. Perhaps they, too, seek refuge in words delivered from God.
Loneliness, when woven into sentences, becomes a tapestry of shared solitude, empathy, and connectedness. It binds us across time and space, linking hearts that beat in quiet unison. So, I write—my ink a balm, my sentences a bridge, my loneliness a canvas waiting for the collaboration of understanding.
And in this quiet office, where the walls hold echoes of forgotten memories, I find communion with fellow writers who seek God’s presence as I write for eternity and beyond. For when I write, I am never truly alone.
Yesterday was one of those lonely days. Today is a day when my soul rejoices in a God, a Savior, who has been where I was and tends to have me return all too frequently. He is One who says, ‘Been there, done that!’ - Dr. Stephen Phinney
Love this alliteration Stephen. I suspect however, that more folks are reading than we may even know about. Keep planting those seeds Stephen. If only one soul is saved from hell it was worth it.
Yep, resonating here. I used to be more of a solitary person, with more of an internal world. There's something to that--a communicating place; a listening place, a resting place. But I seek that affirmation outside oftentimes. There is that God who is there like no other. You are in that place. You hear those words. And you share that gospel with your pen. You are in that place, at that well. It is good, Dr. Stephen. Thank you for those words.