MY LIFE: #54 Reaping Corruption
Dr. Stephen Phinney: As for indwelt believers, there is nothing like sowing to the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus. Galatians 6:8 says that a person who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life.
UNFORGIVENESS - REAPING CORRUPTION
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
(Galatians 6:7-8)
Sowing to the flesh violates God’s Word – internally and externally - for example, judging, lying, or abusing people violates God’s Holy Word. Not resolving these conflicts by seeking forgiveness makes sowing end in corruption. Corruption will come in a different season, as I will explain. Sowing to the flesh and reaping corruption leads to actions such as withdrawal, fear, anxiety, and even physical problems.
Probably the most difficult seeking forgiveness venture I have been privileged to walk through was with the man who molested my daughter. I would like to share with you the story, which will include my decision to sow to my flesh and then ultimately sow to the Spirit.
At the peak of our ministry’s success while in Colorado Springs, I was offered a merge with a nationwide Christ as Life psychiatric care organization. Both organizations agreed that our mission and purpose statements would advance the Exchange Life mission of helping hurting souls discover their identity in Christ. With this mutual agreement, we set out to merge our mission and ministry visions, which resulted in a move to Phoenix, AZ, in order to establish three hospital care units.
Within a few short months of moving, we invited a couple over for dinner who the husband directed our sexual additions department. Part of the evening activities included time in our pool before the meal. While the rest of us were attending to the food inside, this man remained in the pool with our daughter, at which time the molestation occurred. While serving the meal, we noticed that our daughter acted restless and fearful of this man. We continued with the evening, not knowing or realizing what had happened. Within a few short days, our daughter grew overtly restless and anxious – at which time she confessed to her mother what this man had done. Instantly, I became filled with rage and thoughts of revenge. The next day, I reported this event to our supervisor. During that meeting, this man admitted that the Phinney girls were attractive but made no admission to the incident. With that, the drama began to unfold.
I immediately began to sow to my flesh by being filled with resentment and revenge. Logically, this man had to be removed from the organization and be stripped of his license. However, my flesh wanted him to suffer.
Since fulfilling this demand would be an admission on the corporation’s part of having a pedophile directing their sexual addictions department and that it would most likely set off a series of lawsuits, the organization began a major cover-up. Such a cover-up left me and my family with no other alternative but to resign my position and pursue legal counsel. Our legal counsel was requesting two simple mandates; one, to terminate this man from his position and secondly, to strip him of his licensing in order to protect other innocent victims – with no threats of a money settlement or any other personal gain.
Since my legal counsel was up against an entire legal firm in Houston, Texas, that was determined to cover the reputation of this nationwide organization, all of our appeals resulted in the organization releasing him from his position for budget reasons. This man went on to open his own clinic and began servicing hundreds of hurting people.
After being faced with a horrid alternative, putting our daughter on the stand in a public lawsuit – we decided to protect our daughter and family and not pursue the lawsuit. This left one last option - go to the media, which God decided to intervene and stop my plan.
By this point in time, my flesh began reaping the corruption of my own bitterness, resulting in despair, anger, fears, anxiety, and obsession with revenge and unforgiveness. It was during this time that the Lord brought another mentor into my life, who used the same discipleship method I myself practiced. It was through this discipleship that I was advised not to give this ordeal five more minutes or dollars to my obsession. For no other reason besides the mind of Christ from within confirming this advice, my family and I let go of all our bitterness and began to heal. At this time, I joined this organization as an employee.
After about seven years, my ministry boss received a call-back slip from this perpetrator. Since I was the Executive Assistant to the founder, part of my responsibilities was to manage his callbacks. I saw the name on the slip of paper and walked directly into my boss’s office to notify him of exactly who this call-back was. Assuming the founder would take this matter on himself and ramp up a confrontation, I advised him of what I thought to be some appropriate steps. To my surprise, my boss asked me to call him back, set up a luncheon, confess my list of bitter reactions (written seven years earlier), and seek his forgiveness, with the agreement of not bringing up the perpetrator’s sin. Thankfully, for my healing, knowing I had to practice what I preached, I did exactly that!
As I sat in front of this man, my mind became flooded with emotion and, yes, a replay of the entire list of offenses this man committed against my daughter and family. Tempted to bring up this list, I stayed focused on the mission at hand according to the guidelines of seeking forgiveness. I went through my list of reactions/sins, sought his forgiveness, and accepted his quick reply of Yes, I forgive you. But I have to be honest; my acceptance of his reply was purely based upon Christ forgiving him through me, for in and of myself, it was not in me.
Even though there was no mention of any wrongdoing on his part, he had the audacity to invite me and my family to his home for his wife’s birthday party. With every ounce of kindness and strong guidance from within, I declined the offer, stating that it would not be wise to put my daughter or family, in such an uncomfortable situation. With that conclusion, I never saw him again.
One of the greatest tests of forgiveness is being reminded of the offense through either name recognition or being put in the offender’s presence, and this is exactly what my family and I were faced with just a few years ago—years after the luncheon.
We received a magazine from one of the largest family life organizations in the Christian world. In this magazine, my wife noticed the name of the new editor; yes, as you might guess, it was none other than the wife of this predator. With a quick appropriation of the bitterness God had previously delivered us from – we were able to move beyond this irony.
We are living testimonies of what it really means to sow to the Spirit and experience the fruit of such decisions: an orderly life, Godly responses of love, releasing the mind of Christ, peace, freedom, no guilt, confidence in Christ, and a host of other benefits. We know the power of extending forgiveness.
The Lord desires uncluttered worship. Knowing someone has something against you will hinder your worship. You may not have intended to offend, but the other person may be hurt. The solution is to go to the person you have offended and seek forgiveness for your part in the conflict. Truly seeking forgiveness makes it easy for the offended person to forgive – most do. The offender’s obedience in seeking forgiveness sets them free from the burden of the offense, even if the other person doesn’t forgive. Once we declutter our minds of unforgiveness, a free and uncluttered worship can occur.
Coming up next is #55, “Reaping Corruption.”
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Sir, a powerful and searing story. Thank you for sharing. Wendy