MY LIFE: #53 Seeking Forgiveness
Dr. Stephen Phinney: Today, I would like to share with you the correlation between money, giving, and human reconciliation. It is mind-bending, actually.
THE LOST ART OF SAYING ‘I WAS WRONG’
"Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”
(Mat 5:23-24)
Seeking forgiveness from someone you’ve offended can be an incredibly challenging process. In this place lies the weight of reconciliation, a burden both tender and heavy. To seek forgiveness is to step into the tempest of vulnerability, where pride and shame collide. The path is treacherous, winding, lined with thorns of regret, yet it launches us forward, for redemption awaits at its end.
Growing up, I stumbled over my own words, particularly when it came to saying, “I was wrong.” Crafting fragile bridges of remorse, hoping they’ll bear the weight of my regret. Unfortunately, for the most part, it ended on the ears of ambiguity.
It wasn’t until becoming indwelt by Yeshua that I understood that eternal long-term forgiveness was not possible before being indwelt AND that forgiveness is no simple gift, not a mere exchange of syllables. It’s a sacred alchemy of the Grace of Christ released from within. A healing balm for wounded souls coming directly from Christ through our mortal vessels.
Throughout my childhood, I developed a stronghold in my life - erecting walls to protect myself from additional hurt. While I thought it would protect me, in reality, it brought years of pain and suffering through all the broken relationships I refused to mend.
And so, I treaded softly, hiding behind fake apologies, seeking solace and appeasement in the eyes of the other, hoping they’ll remain at peace with me. This, without question, built a life that was all about me.
After I became an authentic believer, I noticed how forgiveness blooms like a fragile blossom in the desert. Meaning - eternal forgiveness through a believer blooms under harsh conditions. For many years I didn’t think it was possible. However, in Christ, I found the true reason for saying, I was wrong.
When walking after my flesh, I remain sober to the fact that the fortress remains. Its gates barred against my pleas when praying fleshly prayers. Thus, I carry the weight of my deeds one more time, a stone upon my weary shoulders.
Yet even then, the act of seeking reconciliation in a burdensome relationship is as weighty as the world itself. In this, God reminds me how flawed my flesh truly is - fully capable of refusing transformation.
Today, I would like to share with you the correlation between money, giving, and human reconciliation. It is mind-bending, actually. The Holy Spirit will be our compass, discernment, and our guide.
The word forgiveness derives from this description of giving before another has a chance to give. Literally, for-giving. In this I learned that forgiving another requires me to release the act of offense before the other has a chance to do so.
In the Old Testament, forgive is sâlach = to pardon debt. When Jesus used the word FORGIVE, it was by way of aphiēmi = omit to send forth. This means that to move forward, one must lay aside the debt to advance the Truth of His words. Furthermore, to walk in unforgiveness is to shame the Gospel AND Jesus Himself. So the question becomes:
How many believers today give their tithes and offerings but yet hold on to the wrongs of others through unforgiveness?
Can you imagine how many billions of dollars have been put into the church offering plates over the years that were rejected by God? You talk about wasting money!
If you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember… Self-proclaimed Christians assume that all their giving is received by the Lord, but the fact is, He only receives offerings from His children that are reconciled with their offenders. All indwelt believers are required by God to go and seek forgiveness from all those who they have offended by direct actions of hurt or reactions from being hurt by the offender. It is a vital part of the indwelling Life of Christ to show observers how Christ can forgive through the Bride of Christ.
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:7-9).
Before true extending forgiveness can occur, the believer must be aware of the need to admit their wrongdoing from the person(s) they offended. This is why it is important to list those the believer has hurt (either by direct action or a reaction to the offender hurting him). If this does not happen, estrangements will plague their relationships. One thing is certain: the Holy Spirit will bring conviction to all children of God who have offended another – in any shape and form. Christ, in the believer, wants forgiveness to be a normal part of our indwelt Christianity. This way, He can rebuild relationships for ministry purposes.
The above illustration shows how God’s forgiveness is the foundation for human forgiveness through Christ. Total forgiveness for the believer has been accomplished by the shedding of Christ’s blood on the Cross (Leviticus 17:11; Hebrews 9:22; Ephesians 1:7). God’s forgiveness to us is the foundation on which each of us is able to forgive and seek forgiveness from each other. Christ is forgiving through the indwelt believer. In Acts 24:16, Paul desired to have a conscience clear before God and man. Seeking forgiveness is a way to have that clear conscience. In Romans 12:18, Paul encourages believers to be at peace with all men. We were sought out by God, even though we were the offenders against His own Son. How much more should we seek out those we have offended to ask for their forgiveness?
Special Note: Seeking forgiveness opens the door to authentic salvation for those you ask for forgiveness. Unbelievers cannot forgive you in Christ. If they are unsaved, your gesture of asking them to forgive you is for the purpose of revealing the power of Christ’s forgiveness that is found only in indwelt believers. Thus, it exposes them to the authentic Gospel. Therefore, be prepared to lead them to receive the Life of Christ. If they are indeed indwelt by Jesus, this will remind them of the purpose of Christ’s forgiveness within you.
In summary, when someone is in debt to you, each time you see them, you see the debt before the importance of the relationship itself. Thus, the relationship suffers intimacy. If you walk up to that person and tell them you have forgiven their debt against you, I can assure you a different kind of relationship will bloom.
Offenses are debts! No doubt about it. When Jesus emphasized the point of being before the Lord ready to give to His ministry, He will stop you and challenge you to …leave your offering there before the altar and go; first, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Why would He do this? The easy answer - those who keep others indebted are not worthy of serving a Savior that works relentlessly to free others from debt (sins against Christ).
Coming up next is #54, “Reaping Corruption.”
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