My Life: #12 Family - My Life with Janie Marie.

The Lord has blessed me with many profound gifts and opportunities, but none compared to the woman of my youth.

Jul 23, 2023

The Lord has blessed me with many profound gifts and opportunities, but none compared to the woman of my youth. In Christ, Jane has been the red thread between me & the practical aspects of the Indwelling Life of Jesus. This woman has a deep & rich understanding of the power of the Cross, the indwelling Life of Christ, and the purpose of womanhood. For without Christ using her, God only knows where I would be.

I met Jane initially through my brother, who was “dating” her sister Mary. The first time I met her, I was at the ripe age of 19, full of vigor and just about the peak of my rebellion, being filled with confusion regarding my identity in Christ. Her family was hosting a birthday party for my brother and invited our family to attend. Because my mother couldn’t drive, and since I was her designated driver, I drove her to this event. Upon arriving, I couldn’t help but notice Mary’s sister – in fact, I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I immediately became lovesick! As the evening unfolded, I realized that this young lady was from a different “cut of cloth.” Seeing her as untouchable and too pure for me, I moved through the evening as best as I could, stealing second looks whenever I could. Even though I didn’t see her again for a couple of years, she never left my mind.

The Roots of My Dutch Woman

Jane is from a pure Dutch heritage. She was born June 26, 1954, to Carl and Drucilla VerSteeg. She grew up in Sioux Center, Iowa, and lived in the same house her entire life, something that was rather foreign to me, coming from a family who moved nine times before I had entered high school. Her Dutch background was deeply integrated into her hometown, family, and lifestyle. Her parents were some of the sweetest people I had ever met. Her family was everything I had ever dreamed of having IN a family.

Two years after meeting Jane at my brothers’ birthday party, I was in a lifestyle of confusion and chaos. Hearing through my brother that I was unemployed and in need of a serious life change, she decides to send me a letter encouraging me to apply for a job at a handicapped care facility. Being desperate, I did and got a job. But the “kicker” was when I went to sign the contract, she was there signing her contract to work for the same organization. When I saw her standing there, I was mesmerized by her beauty. I knew that day I would marry this woman.

Within a couple of weeks, I began to be overcome with a love for her that I had not experienced before – not with anyone. She so smote me; I began to see her face in my dreams.

The Day It Happened.

During training, I roomed with the company’s psychologists. One night while sitting on the edge of my bed, he asked me if I was ok. I went on to tell him what was going on in my mind – obsessing over this woman. With that, he said; you’re in love (picture taken on this day). I am not joking when I say this, but I had no clue what love was or how it felt to be in love, so this man’s words were foreign to me. If you asked me about lust at this point in my life, well, I could write a user’s manual on that topic.

This revelation from my co-worker was shaking the foundation of my life.

The next day in training, I saw Jane walk by as I was flirting with a biker-chic, and I literally stopped in my conversation, caught up with Jane, and asked her if I could walk her to class. Within the hour, we were sitting down and sharing a cup of coffee. I must tell you, this was the first time in my life that I had a heart connection with another human outside of my mother. I truly loved this woman, Warren (the psychologist) was right. Without sounding too pompous, those thoughts and feelings have never subsided. There will NEVER be another woman who could fill her place in my heart! I knew this love story was eternal.

After returning from this training trip, my landlord said he needed a month’s rent – in advance. Being cash-broke, I set off to find my brother. I whipped by Jane’s apartment to ask her if she knew where he was. She didn’t, but she said she would go with me to try to find him. That turned into 5 hours of driving in the rain to find him. Well, we never found my brother, but we found each other.

One of the stops we made in attempting to find my brother was her parents. After arriving in their driveway, we began to talk, 3 hours’ worth. Finally, we went inside and asked if they had seen my brother. Even though our mission failed, my future mother-in-law later said, “It was that night I knew who was to marry their Janie.

Well, on to our journey of finding my brother. We drove around for another several hours, and then stopping at a stop sign, I looked over at her and asked her if I should be afraid to get involved. With a slight pause, which felt like an hour, she said no.

Within a short period of time, and I mean a short period of time, I made a trip over to speak to her father to gain permission to marry his daughter. With an affirmative “yes,” I moved forward, bought a diamond, and set the time to ask her to marry me.

On the night of the proposal, I attempted to read her scriptures on marriage (mostly fumbling), asked her to marry me, and waited for the “yes.” Her reply? I cannot say yes but I can’t say no. Without one single doubt in my mind, I told her to keep the ring and put it on when she hears a yes from the Lord. It took her a few weeks to hear God (silly girl), little did she realize, I would have waited the rest of my life for that yes. Sure enough, one night I went to pick her up for a “date” and to my delight, she was wearing the ring. This was one of the best days of my entire life. That night was the turning point for the rest of my life. Having Janie in my life has infected and affected almost every decision I have made since that night. She truly is the heartbeat of my soul. As God as my witness, I can honestly tell you that I have never had a single doubt as to if she was the right person for me, nor a single thought, or temptation, of ever leaving her. Our love, commitment, and devotion to each other are beyond life itself – it is eternal. I became complete when God gave me her and as for her family, well – they were a benefit I did not expect.

We were married one year after she accepted my engagement.

On June 24, 1977, the Lord united us as one flesh. Our wedding day was a storybook event. Like most grooms, I believed I was the most blessed man on earth.

Mom and Dad VerSteeg adopted me as a true son. I learned more about love, acceptance, and family life from them than from any book I have read or written. They have both gone on to be with the Lord, but I got-a-tell-ya; I have had a hole in my heart since the day they died. I weep over missing them often, even now, particularly Carl, my father-in-law. This man was simply the kindest man I have ever met. He taught me most of what I know about being a faithful father, husband, and grandparent. God used him to be a father in ways that my own father was unable. His life has become my legacy.

Setting the Stage for Family Life

Before we were married, we decided as a couple that Jane would be a “stay-at-home” mom. This decision was challenged by many of our friends at that time – trying to convince us that Janie could work outside the home while being a responsible mother. This push reaffirmed what we believed and moved forward with our decision. In fact, we have carried this principle forward as grandparents. Being in ministry our entire adult lives, we have been faced with many temptations of breaking that commitment due to the struggle of living off a single faith-based missionary salary, but we are pleased to announce that we kept to that decision to this very day.

Bob Hoogeveen, My First Mentor

Our years together at Village Unlimited (Handicapped Village) were some of the most rewarding we have had to date. Bob Hoogeveen became my first mentor. He was the visionary and founder of this organization. Jane and I are considered to be a part of the founding team, literally being a part of the brick-and-mortar of establishing this organization. In many respects, I owe my love for leadership and people helping to this man. He hired me as a young, arrogant know-it-all, started me out cleaning toilets, and promoted me from position to position until I became humble enough to manage people responsibly.

Jane and I worked side by side in this organization serving those with physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges. We have truckloads of memories of loving and being loved by some of God’s most precious people. We learned together what it really means to love and accept people who are less equipped with mental and physical resources. Watching my bride’s love for these people caused and confirmed God’s greatest human blessing to me - that unconditional love is the doorway to the Gospel.

I have been in the creative field for over 40 years. I've been blessed with writing 8,000+ online articles, producing 700+ videos & documentaries, and handcrafting 200+ pastels, all without charging the general public. I love being a vessel for God's creative expression.

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