My Life: # 14 Education - My Time at Oxford.

Oxford, and the murder of my best friend, became the most stressful set of events we have had to bear in our marriage, family & ministry.

Another point of rejection came shortly after I was selected amongst 20 Christian Worldview teachers to join a new class of doctorate candidates at Oxford Graduate School.  During my first week there as a student, the school’s president took these leaders out for lunch – at which time I was wearing an Oxford t-shirt under my sport jacket, given to me by a friend who visited Oxford University. The outcome was deplorable! 

MY TIME AT OXFORD

In front of fellow classmates, staff, and professors, the President had me stand up to announce his disgust at me wearing an Oxford symbol before I had earned it, then encouraging the class not to follow Phinney’s disrespectful example. 

If that wasn’t bad enough, our Psychology professor gave us the assignment to write an essay, which was to integrate our Christian worldview into the topic of the psychology of abortion.  With that, I wrote my paper integrating the truths of the indwelling Life of Christ into the unrighteous act of abortion.  The premise is that if true Christians have the very mind of Christ in them, how could He support a demonic doctrine of killing the future pastors, prophets, and teachers of tomorrow’s church – unborn children?  Not only did he refuse to have the paper read to the forum, but he also used it to publicly humiliate me – calling me a narrow-minded conventional Christian worldview thinker.  From that day forward, this professor worked tirelessly to set the class against me and the worldview of - an authentic Christian worldview starts with the indwelling mind of Christ. Sadly, a few years later, this professor was dismissed for a similar infraction. 

Needless to say, my studies at Oxford were trying and stressful.  Interesting as it is, my Oxford experience was used by God to remind me that the teachings of the indwelling mind of Christ in the believer were not going to be accepted in the world of education without a fight.  Another known fact, as a result of my challenging professors and students with this view, several of the students from that class went on to become world-known teachers of “Not I, but Christ” - one, later, becoming the Chancellor of Oxford, who is now a dear friend & co-collaborator.  Even though it is hard to accept at times, God truly does use all things for His good. 

Interesting Note: After a virus attacked my heart, causing life-threatening heart failure, while sitting on the couch thinking my ministry was over, I got a call. Who was it? None other than the Chancellor of Oxford. His encouragement not only got me off that couch that day, but I am motivated daily by his strong rebuke that it is not over until God says it is over.

Due to my heart failure, I was forced to close our high-end Scottsdale offices and retreat to online communications. Being a minister who thrived on face-to-face people skills, interns, conferences, and droves of speaking engagements, this was a difficult shift. However, it was the birthing channel for what I do today. We started with 15 subscribers. Today, we reach well over a million annual inboxes. In addition, this shift opened doors to opportunities that reach a global audience that rattles the cage of my frail mind.

Stepping Back for A Moment    

Toward the end of our time in Colorado Springs, a ministry in Huston, Texas, we were offered to merge their ministry with ours – more like gobble up our ministry into theirs.  Since the founder of this Christian psychiatric care organization was discipled by my mentor, I was comfortable with a possible merger.  After many meetings and times of negotiation, an agreement was made, and the “gobbling” occurred, which required our family to move to Phoenix, Arizona. 

This merge did not turn out as we had hoped and prayed.  A couple of months after settling into Scottsdale, AZ – we began socializing with our Director of the Sexual Addictions department. One of the worst possible circumstances began to unfold.  This man ended up molesting one of our daughters.  Due to the fact that this organization worked closely with the hospital industry, cover-ups ruled the day.  The simple reality was we faced an entire firm of attorneys vs. our single legal representative.  Our request was nothing more than removing this man from his position and barring him from his license to practice in the mental health industry – that was it.  No suit for money and/or selfish gain.  Sadly, we “lost” the battle, and nothing was done outside of them removing him from his position, primarily due to complaints from several other clients.

With that, we found ourselves in a strange new place with no employment, in a foreign community. While it is difficult to admit, I ended up with thoughts of suicide. I took my Bible and headed off to a cliff on a lake in Arizona. Once I reached the top of this cliff, I “demanded” of God a sign. I immaturely asked him to reveal Himself through an eagle. Less than five minutes later, the screech of an eagle appeared above me. I watched that eagle sour until it was out of sight. God said I have met you where you are; now meet Me where I am. Those profound words set me in motion for hours of reading my Bible. At the end of the day, I kindly asked for a feather from an eagle as a marker for my newly found freedom. While I was descending from the cliff, I was searching and expecting to find a feather, which resulted in failure. Now down by the lake, I heard the words Go higher. Back up the mountain, I went. As I climbed the last bolder, I noticed a “straw” stuck between two rocks. I pulled it out, and sure enough, it was an eagle’s feather. Later, a friend, the chief of the Apache Nation, told me this is the most treasured icon of their tribe - symbolizing the people’s freedom.

After a few months of unemployment, one of Dr. Solomon’s mentored leaders visited our home, offering us discipleship for our family.  Taking him up on his offer, our family went for counsel and received a great deal of healing.  This resulted in coming on staff with his organization, which we maintained for over ten years. 

It was during our tenure with them that I was blessed with being a part of a team that developed some of the most practical tools available today regarding the application of Christ in you.  My Identity Matters Workbook, as well as most of my books, are based on these teachings.  One of the primary tools is the IM Discipleship Manual, which was designed to provide the discipler with teaching material for use in the “counseling” process.  Diagrams are used to communicate the freeing Truths of the believer’s identity in Christ.  This manual was specifically intended to apply God’s Truth to an individual’s life IN the seven areas of life: spiritual, psychological, social, physical, financial, marital, and parental.

MY BEST FRIEND WAS MURDERED

During my internship at the beginning of my time with this organization, I became friends with a co-worker that ultimately ended up co-pastoring a church with me that focused on the believer’s identity in Christ.  Our little church grew from several families to be that of several hundred people.  It was during the peak of our growth as a church that my friend and co-worker was killed in a “gun accident.”  After his death, we maintained the growth of this fellowship for another eight years – merging with several other fellowships along the way. 

During the tenth year of my service with the church and the discipleship organization (my primary job), the new husband to the wife of my dead friend ended up in my office for counseling.  While I was discipling this man, the Lord gave me a “word of knowledge” that confirmed what I suspect.  The Lord said to ask him about the murder.  Not knowing the ramifications of where the Lord was going with this, I obeyed and asked.  His reply was you don’t think I did it, do you?  Not knowing the details of what I suspected, I said no.  With that, the story unfolded – a full confession came forth of his wife, one of our workers, murdering my best friend.

This ordeal became the most stressful set of events we have had to bear in our marriage, family & ministry.  Since Jane and I were the key counselors in the confession, from public media attention to the rejection of friends of the ministry – our lives became battered by betrayal. 

This all resulted in an 18-year prison sentence for the wife of my friend, full betrayal from the ministry we dedicated our lives to serve - resulting in a strong recommendation from my attorney to resign my position.  With that, we found ourselves unemployed again, wondering what the Lord had for us next. Then, the governor of Arizona called me with an invitation to the world of politics. Read more about this in my entry, “My Stint in Politics.”