#Culture. Facing Death Without Support

While death is a natural part of life and an unavoidable reality for all of humanity, that doesn't mean you will be free from the fear of facing it.

FACING DEATH WITHOUT SUPPORT

In our youth, death seems to evade our conscience. At least, that was the norm for most before the digital age. In the digital age, we see death front and center every day. A paradox of living beyond our youthful years is facing the reality that many people we know and care about will develop chronic or terminal illnesses and suffer unexpected accidents or other forms of sudden death. Maybe that loved one is soon to be you. For many, having no support system in the dying process is one of the loneliest places in humanity.

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Look around at the dying. Some seem inherently peaceful about facing this immovable marker in life, or should I say death? The saddest cases are those who believe there is nothing after the last breath. The most joyful case is watching those secure in life after death resulting from their faith in and through Jesus Christ from within. The worst-case scenario is observing the dying, fully knowing there is life after death for the unsaved, and gloating about their future damnation in Hell, while lightheartedly joking about their next residence.   

No matter their perspective of death, I am compelled to be compassionate for each. Life is the most valuable commodity entrusted to humanity. From birth to death, it is barely a vapor in the nostril of God. Nowadays, most babies don’t even have a chance to take their first breath, while others are murdered before they comprehend what mommy or daddy means. And then, what tugs at my heart daily is the masses that are dying slowly without any support system of loved ones in place. Mostly a consequence of having no loved ones who care about them while they are living. As my wife says, Why would they care about you dying when they didn’t care about you when you were living? This is wisdom that Jesus Himself faced in His dying process.  

Humanity is driven to seek love, acceptance, and forgiveness as a compulsory act of their existence. When death knocks at their door, most face denial, anger, swinging deals with God, overwhelming sadness, regret, and fear. But these aren’t the number one stated ideation, the reality of facing death alone. While most will attempt to find comfort in a religious belief or secondary god, the hesitation in second-guessing their next residence is frequently too difficult to face. With most, they are left in a dark place of doubt and confusion. Then they die.

People are forgotten as fast as they are remembered. It’s true unless one has worked at creating a legacy throughout their life. At most funerals, those who take the time to say goodbye cling to the unfortunate lie that all dead people are going to a better place. As a pastor, I have observed this horrid lie bring fake comfort to the souls left behind. Any authentic believer knows this lie is the most common of all death victims. Knowing this, how do we face the reality of the lion’s share of humanity descending to a place of torment far greater than humanity?

We deny this reality when faced with death or those who have already passed. Simply put, it is too much to think about. Secondly, dying or death fronts us with the ultimate question – Where will I go after this life?  

Nobody escapes the process of death and dying. Nobody. Everyone will face it. The masses either live life to the fullest or gloom over the guilt and condemnation of wasting their lives on wanton pleasures. Let’s face it. Humanity is frail. The most arrogant know it all types cannot escape the unknowns of death. It is sobering to think about the reality that most humans wait for the truth on the other side.

MY STORY

This week I was notified by my cardiologist that I am in active heart failure once again. My low infraction ratio is alarming enough for me to review my death or dying process. Again.

After receiving the call, like most, I slipped into mild shock - white noise. It took the good part of a day with the Lord to open my eyes to the reality everyone is to face. Death. My grief? To embrace the probability that what I have fought for years might soon be upon me – my love of serving Jesus Christ with the masses in my writings and media productions might end sooner than expected. After a short stint in self-sorrow, the Lord reminded me that the days of all humans are numbered. That I cannot add one second to the predetermined departure time. With that, I went from shock to joy, with the mindset of staying faithful for days, months, or years remaining on my timecard. However, being wise and responsible, I am compelled to be obedient to move forward with the existing call upon my life.    

During this time, I rethought the primary need for those facing death – forgiveness and reconciliation. These two words are responsible for inner peace with all humans, saved in Christ or not. I have told my wife for years that if the two of us are unified with each other, I can face pretty much anything the devil throws our way. On the other hand, the opposite is equally true – if we are not reconciled with each other, life can seem impossible to navigate. We both have learned that living in forgiveness is the golden key to unlocking the door to peaceful living and departure. Dying without regret requires a power greater than us to free us from the consequences of regretful decisions. That power is in the Life and actions of Jesus Christ. Since Jesus is the ONLY one who can free an individual from condemnation spiritually AND mentally, peace can be employed before one faces the immovable inevitability of death.

Unforgiveness and irreconcilable differences are deadly – first to mental health and second to the possibility of eternal consequences. In this, we find the reason for making peace with ourselves and others before it is too late. The truth wrapped into this double-edged sword has two folds. First is accepting that not all those we have offended or have been offended by are willing to make things right before death threatens. Secondly, eternal freedom requires the Person of Eternity to free us through the redemptive act of forgiveness through a born-again experience in Christ. The first requires action on our part. The second gives us the ability to accomplish the first action.    

If death is knocking at your door, get things right with Jesus Christ. If that means becoming born-again in Christ, do it. However, if your heart is what the Word calls hard-hearted, you will need to face the fact that your next residence is far more torturous than the load you are taking to your grave. If you are authentically born-again and stubborn enough to refuse to forgive your offenders or seek forgiveness from those whom you offended, remember that attitude will affect your rewards on the other side. Let alone keep the offenders in bondage after you leave. You might not have the privilege to meet with each offended/offender before you die, but you CAN accomplish dying in peace while you are on your deathbed, which means extending or accepting Christ’s forgiveness while you are waiting for your spirit to depart your body.

The reality is that those who are not facing the breath of death breathing down their necks rarely consider the importance of making things right with those who are on their deathbeds. In their own form of selfishness, they allow the dying “loved one” to slip into the final stages of death. Frequently justifying their refusal to make things right to grant peace for the one soon to depart. They tend to be compulsively wrapped up in their own justified excuses. Sadly, you can do nothing with such ignorant loved ones outside of praying for them as you await your final breath.    

Here is my challenge to the living.

If you are consciously aware of unresolved issues with the dying, don’t hesitate to make things right. Seek their forgiveness if you know you have hurt them. If the dying person is the one who hurt you, get the offense cleared up with Jesus immediately, then go and make peace with the dying offender.

If you strongly suspect the dying loved one is not indwelt by Christ, it is time to put on the cap of evangelism. Explain the pathway of salvation, if you yourself know it, and attempt to lead them to Jesus. It they refuse, it is not on your shoulders. You can walk to the cemetery with a clear conscience.

Forgiving others demands that you tap into the Forgiver, Jesus. This is an impossibility if you are not a born-again believer. Human forgiveness without Jesus is fake forgiveness. It only temporarily frees people in the present. Eternal forgiveness, which lasts for eternity, requires a larger power than yourself. Toss self-justified pride in the trash bin, return to the dying loved one, and deliver your final gift, peace. If this seems too impossible for you, remember these words:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14-15)

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