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Transcript

#83 My Life: Flesh Blocks Love

Dr. Stephen Phinney: Selfishness blocks true love by prioritizing one's own desires over the needs and well-being of others, preventing genuine connection and selfless affection.

THE FLESH | BLOCKS GOD’S LOVE

Believers who are caught in the lie of loving themselves first before loving Yeshua and others often find themselves trapped in a cycle of self-centeredness that hinders their spiritual growth and relationships. This mindset prioritizes personal desires and comfort over the sacrificial love that Christ exemplified. As a result, these believers may struggle to experience the fullness of God's love and the joy that comes from serving others.

The Bible teaches that true love is selfless and seeks the well-being of others, reflecting the nature of Christ's love for humanity. When believers focus on themselves first, they miss out on the eternal power of living a life centered on releasing Yeshua and His teachings.

This self-focused approach will lead to “feelings” of emptiness and dissatisfaction, as it contradicts the core truths of the Gospel. Loving Yeshua and others requires a shift in perspective, where believers recognize their identity in Christ and embrace the call to love sacrificially. By putting Yeshua first, believers can experience a deeper connection with Him and a more fulfilling spiritual journey. This shift also enables them to genuinely love others, fostering meaningful relationships and a sense of community. Overcoming the lie of self-love involves understanding the true nature of God's love and allowing it to transform one’s heart and actions, leading to a life of purpose and joy.

MY STORY OF BLOCKING LOVE

In my childhood, I often found myself blocking others from loving me due to a deep-seated distrust of humans. This distrust stemmed from numerous experiences where expressions of affection and kindness turned out to be insincere, ultimately leading to rejection. To protect myself from the pain of these fake expressions, I resorted to selfish efforts of self-preservation, which I now call self-love. I built emotional walls and kept people at a distance, still do at times, believing that this was the only way to avoid the hurt that came from being let down by others. This defensive mechanism, while intended to shield me, also prevented genuine connections and the possibility of experiencing true love and acceptance.

As a result, my relationships suffered, and I often felt isolated and misunderstood. The fear of rejection became a barrier that kept me from opening up and trusting others. This self-imposed isolation hindered my ability to form meaningful bonds and experience the joy of reciprocal love. Over time, I realized that my efforts to protect myself were actually causing more harm than good. Learning to trust and embrace vulnerability became essential steps in overcoming this cycle of distrust and allowing others to love me genuinely. It was through understanding and accepting my own worth in Yeshua that I began to dismantle these barriers and open my heart to the possibility of authentic relationships.

I tried to blame this on being a “bubble boy.”

But that didn’t work. As a young believer, I struggled deeply with four primary passages in the Bible due to my distrust in God's love. These passages, which spoke of God's unconditional love, His promises of protection, His call to trust Him completely, and His assurance of never leaving nor forsaking me, were difficult for me to fully embrace. My experiences of rejection and insincerity in human relationships had shaped my perception, making it hard to believe that God could love me in the way I desired. This distrust led to a constant battle within me, as I yearned for a love that felt tangible and reassuring, yet doubted its authenticity when it came from God. Bummer!

The struggle with these passages hindered my spiritual growth and my ability to fully surrender to God's will. I often found myself questioning His intentions and doubting His promises, which created a barrier between me and the deeper relationship I longed for. Here are the passages:

  1. Philippians 2:3: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves."

  2. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

  3. James 3:16: "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."

  4. Romans 2:8: "But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger."

Over time, through prayer, reflection, and the guidance of trusted mentors, I began to understand that God's love is far greater and more profound than any human love.

It required a shift in perspective and a willingness to let go of my preconceived notions to experience the depth of His love truly. This journey of overcoming distrust and embracing God's love has been transformative, allowing me to grow in faith and trust in His unwavering commitment to me.

Years ago, the Lord whispered these words in my mind If you don’t trust, you will rust.

Needless to say, it took years before I authentically began to trust the Lord, taking His Word at face value and truly enjoying my love life in Yeshua. During this time, I wrestled with doubts and fears, struggling to believe that God's promises were meant for me.

My past experiences of rejection and insincerity made it difficult for me to fully embrace His unconditional love. However, through persistent prayer, studying Scripture, and the support of faithful mentors, I gradually learned to let go of my distrust and open my heart to His truth. As I started to take His Word at face value, I experienced a profound transformation, finding peace and joy in my relationship with Yeshua. This journey of trust and surrender has allowed me to enjoy the fullness of His love, deepening my faith and enriching my spiritual life.

Trusting others has always been a challenge for me, still is, shaped by countless disappointments and broken promises.

Each experience has deepened my hesitancy, making it difficult to place my faith in human relationships. However, amidst this struggle, I have found solace and unwavering trust in the Lord. Unlike humans, He never disappoints or retreats from His promises. Today, I choose to put my trust in Him alone, knowing that His faithfulness and love are constant and unchanging.


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As believers, it is essential to recognize that our ultimate trust should be placed in Christ, who resides within each of us who are born again. Human beings, despite their best intentions, are fallible and prone to disappointments. By focusing on the presence of Christ within others, we can transcend the limitations of human frailty and find a deeper, more reliable source of trust. This perspective allows us, me, to see beyond the imperfections and shortcomings of individuals, acknowledging that it is Christ's love and guidance that truly sustains and empowers us.

Today I know that my flesh blocks God’s love!

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