#23 My Heart Undressed | Dead Already

JANE PHINNEY: Sometimes life can feel like an express train. It’s going too fast to get off, but at the same time, you’re hanging on for dear life so that you don’t fall off!

DEAD ALREADY

By Jane Phinney

Listen to the podcast version: Brought to you by Jewish Voice.

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Today I reread something I penned a few years ago. I’m going to share it with you because I need to hear it again myself. Believe me! It’s been a challenging year thus far.

Sometimes life can feel like an express train. It’s going too fast to get off, but at the same time, you’re hanging on for dear life so that you don’t fall off! The enormity of responsibilities you carry, coupled with task volume, can leave you in a state of paralysis—a feeling I like to call “brain cloud.” Things just don’t seem to flow. You work all the time but can’t seem to get caught up. And you’ve traded in spiritual vision for a lesser fulfilling earthly focus. Busyness leaves your soul weary. For me, that heavy-laden feeling is an indicator that I’m off track & need a good “kick in the pants” from the Lord.

A paragraph in a Bible study arrested my soul in such a way that I felt like the author had been reading my mail. And I got clobbered! In truth, THE AUTHOR was reading my mail & sending me a clear message to get my mind stayed on Jesus…again! You would think that at my age, & with ample opportunities to practice, I wouldn’t be tempted to go back into an emotional pit under pressure. Not true! The older I get, the more I continually embrace the fact that without the gracious love & faithfulness of my heavenly Father, expressed through the sacrificial death of Christ & the gift of His indwelling Holy Spirit, my total existence would escalate from that express train, to an inconsolable train wreck! Oh, how I continually need the moment-by-moment grace of God to function at all!

My “ah-ha” moment from that study is boxed in, starred twice & earmarked SHARE. The convicting insight is a lifelong practice. Putting life’s puzzle pieces together takes Divine assistance. It’s called sanctification & it IS a process. Although God’s timing isn’t usually the same as mine, I recognized His PERFECT intervention, in this instance, to jumpstart His hope in my soul again. I read, “Sometimes we fear that fighting for what is right will kill us. Then again, it occurs to us that to stand by & do nothing out of self-preservation is to be dead already.” (Esther; Lifeway Press, page 94) This statement is referencing our individual, ever-changing spiritual condition (i.e. faith lived out) as opposed to our eternally secure position in Christ. (Ephesians 2:4-7)

Big city…small town…no matter. I think everyone, nowadays, is feeling the intensity of troubled times. I’ve lived long enough to be sobered when considering the remaining time that I might possibly have left on this earth. “What difference have I made for eternity? Does anyone really care? Have my sacrifices & expended energy brought glory to the Lord? Does anyone really understand why we do what we do in our ministry? Because I’m tired!” You can easily see why this self-absorbed mindset needs to be pierced with Truth to curtail brewing emotions. As a believer in Jesus Christ, standing/living for Truth in a culture that goes against almost everything near & dear to my soul & convictions, can be very hard. But to stop persevering & take the route of least resistance to protect myself from rejection & hurt, truly would be living dead already – in my soul.

I thank God that in His providence, He always points me to the Truth of His Word. His timing is ideal, just when I need a good dose of His hope that doesn’t disappoint. (Romans 5:5) I’m thankful that the frailty of my humanness drives me to seek His presence in the early sunrise hours, so that I can watch His Son rise in my life. Intimacy with the Lord through His Word & prayer is a soothing balm for my soul. I am exhorted, comforted, & encouraged to keep fighting the good fight of faith. (2 Timothy 4:7-8) He is faithful to rescue me from myself. He reminds me that my responsibilities & tasks & trials can indeed produce “eternal weight of glory” when yielded to His purposes. This only happens when I choose to take my eyes off the temporal & fix them on Jesus, with eternity in view. (2 Corinthians 7:17&18)

Now, more than ever, born-again/indwelt believers need to have each other’s back. I hope & pray that God’s unfailing love, amazing grace & new, daily mercies will strengthen & infuse your heart with courage…until He comes to take us Home.

Worship with me today. Songwriter, Stephen Phinney & Vocalist, Elijah Musika, Death to Self, iZ Music.

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