#20 My Heart Undressed | The Worst Hurt

JANE PHINNEY: It often appears that the things that ought not to be, more often are! It’s even more disheartening to watch these sinful, hurtful practices taking place in the Church.

THE WORST HURT

By Jane Phinney

Listen to the podcast version: Brought to you by Grace Life International.

It was years ago. I was out shopping when someone was incredibly rude to me. Although I don’t recall the specific details, I do remember the outcome. In the middle of my fleshy temptation to retaliate, the Lord ever so gently prompted me to “grace them.” What?? What do You mean, Lord? “Grace them. You know…like I grace you…every day of your life. You don’t know what they are dealing with today. You can’t see the pain in their soul. You don’t know their story. So, grace them.”

That was one of those life-altering “ah-ha” moments between me & the Lord. Despite the fact it can oftentimes be a hard decision to want to implement, He reminds me to look for the best in people. This lesson has encouraged me to hope that God’s all-encompassing redemption can change the worst, sin-sick soul for His glory. In my humanness, this has also opened my heart to worlds of hurt because, as you know, there isn’t a person in our lives who doesn’t fail us, at some point. It’s in those moments, that God calls me to seek Him, for His purification purposes in my own life. I am assured that this is one of those neverending lessons for life!

One of the most common, everyday ways we inflict pain is through our speech…the words we choose…our communication style/delivery. Even as a child, it didn’t take me long to figure out that the frequently used adage, “Sticks & stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” was one of the biggest lies of all time! How many of us can still remember that one life-changing incident, the one spoken word or phrase that branded our heart, marking the way we viewed ourselves… maybe even to this very day? Wisdom would say that since we know the pain of ill-spoken words, we would not intentionally inflict other hearts with the same. Unfortunately, our flesh can be our own worst enemy. When our desires & responses are not yielded to the control of the Holy Spirit in the moment, our tongue can become a weapon of mass destruction. The overall fallout can cause someone to doubt God’s love for them, to doubt their unique personal design, & to doubt their value. In short, an attack with words is almost always a spiritual stumbling block to the soul.

The tongue is referenced repetitively in the Bible. Two of my favorite verses are in Proverbs & in James. “Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, & death, so is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘Was I not joking?’” (Proverbs 26:18&19) Righteous anger alerts my soul when I observe the cruel practice of taunting/mocking a vulnerable area in someone’s life. My heart breaks when these barbs are excused as humor, leaving the recipient feeling doubly wounded. Does the Lord Jesus ever, take liberties with our hearts like that? NO! “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil & full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord & Father; & with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing & cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.” (James 3:8-10) If you profess to know Him, you are no doubt feeling some conviction right now. Apparently, this type of bullying has been around for a very long time. Sometimes, it even occurs in families, in God-designed relationships that are supposed to be safe places.

Our present world being what it is, it often appears that the things that ought not to be, more often are! It’s even more disheartening to watch these sinful, hurtful practices taking place in the Church. In the moments that I feel or observe hurt, God reminds me to “grace” the offender & pray for the situation to be reconciled. Believe me, this doesn’t come naturally to me, nor is it easy! But He always reminds me that I’m responsible for any involvement on my part. This stops any bitterness from taking root in my heart. If I don’t deal with it immediately, if I choose to let it fester “…how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire.” (James 3:5) I am humbled by God’s faithfulness in my own refining process. He reminds me that my own words should pass the triple test: Is what I say TRUE? Is what I say KIND? Is what I say NECESSARY?

“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19) “He who guards his mouth & his tongue, guards his soul from trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23)

“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19) “He who guards his mouth & his tongue, guards his soul from trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23)

Worship with me today. Don Moen, Be It Unto Me.

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