#15 My Heart Undressed | I Can't See
JANE PHINNEY: Even if I catch a glimpse of something better, do I want to go through what is required to make it my reality?
Listen to the podcast version:
“I CAN’T SEE”
It’s funny how our minds can recall specific life events as if they happened yesterday. A mere reference makes the mental pictures as clear as watching a movie. Such is an incident that happened to Steve a few years ago. He was moving quickly in the kitchen, securing a small tray from an upper cupboard. Somehow as he turned, he ran smack dab into the corner of the cabinet as the door was closing. I was cooking at the stove with my back toward him. My daughter yelled, “Mom! It’s his eye!” I turned in time to see him holding his hand over the left side of his face, while slowly staggering to the floor. His body shook & his eyes were half shut. Unusually calm, I helped lower him down while my daughter went scurrying for the phone saying, “I’m calling 9-1-1.” I’m guessing all this happened within a minute. Before I could assess what to do next, Steve’s eyes popped open & he said, “You are NOT calling 9-1-1.” He had no idea how bad the whole scene looked to us. It was unnerving!
In all likelihood, his glasses protected his eye before they went flying & ended up broken in the next room. When the cabinet connected with his temple he momentarily blacked out. We quickly seated him on the couch & iced the cut on his cheek, amid his protests as we carried out concussion protocol. Sometimes nursing love needs to be firm.😊 “I’m ok,” he kept saying. Too which I replied, “That’s good. But we’re still watching your eyes & you need to ice for 20 minutes.”
The next day, a phone call confirmed that his present frames were no longer under warranty & that he was due for an eye exam. Meantime, Mr. Fix-it super glued the pieces back together again…a doable but very temporary solution. I love the way the Lord uses practical life situations, like an eye exam, to remind me of the Truth in His Word. You know the drill…reading lines of letters you can clearly identify & then choosing between option “1,” or “2,” over & over-- as the doctor goes through a variety of optical tests. At the conclusion, Steve was shown his old prescription compared to the new updates he needed. When he looked at the reading charts through his old lenses, he promptly said, “I can’t see ANYTHING clearly.” He got really excited about the thought of seeing better. And honestly, I was also excited about the new frames because I never did like his old ones. If he had not had his little kitchen accident, he would’ve continued wearing his old glasses, not realizing what he was missing.
I’m sometimes content to “wear” old spiritual glasses. I like to stay put, & not necessarily consider alterations to my personal, perceived 20-20 vision. Even if I catch a glimpse of something better, do I want to go through what is required to make it my reality? Hm-m, no. The cost can look daunting & threaten my present comfort zone. So, I’m content with what I’ve grown used to because I don’t want anything to rock my boat. I can resist the very thought of change that could, in the long run, be very beneficial to me. It’s the “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” attitude--spiritually. But realistically, just like in the physical world, things that work now can wear out & prove themselves to be ineffective. “New” is often the wisest choice, as opposed to super-gluing the old. You intuitively know it’s time to move on.
My relationship with the Lord is never stagnant. I always need more of His sanctifying touch & He faithfully delivers in my moments of bewilderment. This can look like a blessing, or it can be outright challenging. My “new” is often taught through out-of-control trials that leave me feeling desperate. I believe painful lessons are the most life changing & effective, long term. Though not my favorite venue, I’ve come to understand that these uncomfortable truths are woven into my life, by my loving Father’s design, to become part of the spiritually updated me. A more dependent-on-Jesus me. I’ve often thought, “Lord, I don’t even want to think about what I’m suspecting might be coming. I can’t deal with it.” In His perfect timing, He prepares me for what’s ahead…whether I feel ready or not. By the time I get there & I put on my updated spiritual glasses, I realize that I wasn’t seeing 20/20 after all. Another new year is right around the corner. I want to accept/see clearly what God has for me, & not resist His plan because I’m content with blurry vision.